And, ladies and gentlemen…he’s not only a Christian, he’s Catholic. What was Romney thinking? Ryan is probably a loathsome Papist, taking secret orders from the Vatican with the intent of turning us all into Roman Catholics! Wait, I am a Roman Catholic already. He’s going to turn you into Roman Catholics. No! He’s going to force you into becoming Roman Catholics!
And what about Romney? He’s a closet Catholic, that can be the only explanation for choosing Ryan. After all, anyone with so many kids must be Catholic, only those dirty Catholics breed like rats, and that because they’re ordered to by that monster in Rome…that priest, that prelate…that Pope!
Oh no my friends, we cannot allow this to happen. Romney & Ryan will bring us back to…how did the Fuhrer put it? Oh, yes, the “fifties,” that’s what he said. And you ladies, you Sandra Flukes of the world…beware lest your publicly financed profligacy be prohibited. The only birth control you will find will be chastity belts.
Such breathless exhortations will most certainly become the left’s mantra in the coming months. They will be amalgamated into a shrill, frenzied cry for unity among the dervishes of liberalism’s icons, the nut-cases who have for fifty years sold us sex, drugs, rock and roll and hip-hop as cures for what ails us. And we weren’t even sick at the time.
Now we are at death’s door. The reality is, we desperately need people like Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan to doctor us to health. We have this one chance. Like addicts who have come to the very end, we have one last chance to face our addiction and beat it, or die. The prescription outlined by R&R won’t be easy to take, but we will arise one morning to a brighter day free from that which kept us chained to dependency.